Inner Beauty

I have said previously in my posts that we can set certain guidelines for ourselves to help us remain pure physically, and I would like to talk to girls today about how that we can set guidelines to help us be pure in our conduct and the way we dress. I would like to talk on something that we as girls are always concerned about…our bodies.

Before I go any further, I want to point out that I don’t see anything wrong with jewelry, braided hair, taking care of your body, etc, but when we obsess over these things and put them higher than our relationship with God, it becomes a problem.

We are bought with a price, therefore valuable to God

1 Corinthians 6:20
'For God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.'

God paid the price for us by sending His son! God thought us extremely valuable, so much so that he chose us, and adopted us. 

So many times we judge ourselves by the world’s standards of beauty (which changes all the time) and get sad and depressed when we don’t measure up, but we are looking at the outside, and using the wrong measuring stick. 

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

What God sees in us is our inner beauty…

The Lord Looks at the heart

While others are obsessing over their outward appearance, we as believers have things we need to work on so that our insides look good. 

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" I Peter 3:3-4

A woman of beauty is described as having a ‘gentle and quiet spirit’. The opposite of this can be found in Proverbs 9:13: ‘ The woman Folly is loud; she is seductive and knows nothing.’ A beautiful woman is not loud, doesn’t get angry easily, is not forward, and is well informed. Sometimes we try new products to make us look thinner, our skin clearer, etc. but to become more and more beautiful in God’s eyes, the thing we must do is to strengthen our relationship with God. (Proverbs 30:30)

The closer our relationship with God, the more others can see Him through us! This doesn’t mean that we can just let our outside go and not care for our bodies! God says that our bodies are His temple. It just means that we can’t be consumed with outer beauty, because it isn’t going to last. Only a relationship with God can last for an eternity.

The way we do dress, can also be a reflection of our relationship with God. My husband talked about one Wednesday night about how that part of our dating witness (or if you are not dating as well) is not leading our fellow brothers in Christ into temptation by the way we dress.

What we wear should help our brothers in Christ to not be tempted 

"Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works." (I Timothy 9: 9-10)

Guys think a lot differently than we do! I think most of us girls (or at least I think) dress for each other. As I said earlier, we try to live up to the world’s standard of beauty and style. With that being said, we realize that when we wear more revealing clothing we get ‘noticed’ a lot more, or we see that girls who dress to reveal get more guys/attention.

What we have to realize is that the guys that go after a girl who seeks attention (of her body) are ones that are looking for an ‘easy’ girl. Guys who go with girls who dress immodestly are expecting a lot more (physically) out of them. Christian guys struggle with lust and wanting an easy girl too, and we aren’t making resisting temptation any easier by dressing immodestly (especially at church!) I know last night I mentioned to the girls that guys often go after the easy girl(just because she is, well, easy), and don’t always think about the short term/long term effects, but I do want to make clear that the guy that you marry will be very thankful that you dressed modestly!

 We as Christian girls need to let our clothing be a witness of our faith and purity. Just like sex needs to be in the confines of marriage, so does exposing our bodies need to be inside of marriage as well.

So how tight is too tight? How short is too short? How low is too low? We know certain things, but sometimes it’s hard to tell if the neckline that isn’t showing anything is really too low or not. If you have a father or brother to talk to about it, then that is a good way to know, but sometimes if we don’t have either, or they aren’t close, we have to ask ourselves these questions when buying clothes:  (from https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/questions-ask-your-mirror/ )

•    Is there writing (or pictures) on my clothing that emphasizes private parts of my body?

• If someone were to look at me, where would their eyes naturally go—to my face, eyes, hips, thighs, breasts, etc.? Where do I want men looking when I come into view?
• Is the fabric that I’m wearing too sheer? Could someone see through it to private parts of my body?
• Am I wearing tight, form-fitting clothes? (A well-known designer once said, “Your clothing should be tight enough to show that you’re a woman, but loose enough to show that you’re a lady!”)
• Do my pants fit correctly? Are they too tight? Do they cling to the hips, thighs, etc.?
• Am I wearing anything provocative? (Today, underwear has become outerwear—often designed to be provocative. To expose undergarments is to tease men.) 

God has paid a high price for us, so we are to honor Him with our bodies…we shouldn’t be dressing, or acting to pleasing other girls, guys, or even ourselves but God. I want you to know that God thinks you are beautiful, I mean, he made you! Even more importantly though, God thinks that you are valuable. So let’s be God honoring women in our actions and by the way we dress!

Second Chances

We've all messed up at some time or another. If you've been reading these posts, and are no longer sexually pure, then it may seem that this series doesn't even apply to you. You may say, I've messed up, so I can't have a pure relationship with anyone ever again; God is done with me. Good news, He's not done with you! You can receive forgiveness and start again. Yes, you will still have that lost purity, and yes, God will still punish you, but God will give you a second chance!
Messing up doesn't just apply to dating and relationships, but every single part of our lives. We may reason that we've messed up beyond all hope of redemption, but think again. The Bible gives us countless examples of people who've messed up (Rahab-harlot, David-adulterer and murderer, Peter-denied Jesus 3 times) and who God still used in His plan.
Another person who messed up and received a second chance was Jonah. In Jonah 1, we see three things in his life that can help us look at a life messed up and given a second chance.

Jonah rejected what he knew was right (Jonah 1:1-3)

Jonah was a godly man, a prophet, no less. He received messages straight from God and delivered it...except for the one time God asked him to talk to some of the meanest people on the planet, the people of Nineveh. He knew what was right, and rejected it. Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to 'escape from the Lord'. Oh silly Jonah, I've often thought, why do you think you can run away from God, when you know he is the Lord Creator and knows all things?!' While my husband was presenting the lesson last night I realized that we, as Christians, do the exact same thing! When we don't want to follow God's will, we feel like we are in control of our own lives and go ahead and do our own thing, and don't for a second think about the consequences. We know what's right, but we reject it and go in the opposite direction. When we do that, we are apt to put not only ourselves, but others in danger. (Jonah 1:4-5). What Jonah was about to learn is that...

God will punish us (Jonah 1:4-11)

God sent a storm to punish Jonah (and later a stinky fish he got to stay in for 3 days and nights-that was anything but sanitary!) When we do wrong God does discipline us but it is good to know that he does it out of His unfailing love: Hebrews 12:5,6
' And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and don’t give up when he corrects you.
⁶ For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    and he punishes each one he accepts as his child."'

If we have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Savior, we are God's child, and since God is our Father, then we need 'spankings' when we do something wrong. He doesn't do it out of spite or anger, but He does it out of Love. 

God gives us second chances, but we have to accept the repercussions of what we do. And you know, a second chance is not a second chance unless we ask for forgiveness (I want to point out that if we do mess up, we do not lose the salvation God has given us. God's unfailing love never ceases, no matter what we do!). 

Jonah realizes his wrong and asks the men to throw him into the sea(Jonah 1:12) and later he has a long talk with God (Jonah 2). When we ask God's forgiveness, we can see him work through our mistakes. 

 God can use our mistakes for His own good purpose

God turned a horrible situation, in which Jonah had turned his back on God's will, into a revival service for the guys on the ship. They started out praying to all their gods, but ended by making vows to serve God instead (Jonah 1:13-16). You've messed up. Has God given up on you? Is God done with you? No! God can turn your mistakes into something that gives him honor and glory, if you will just seek after Him (Matthew 6:33).

I am going to end this post on a light note. Ever since my husband told me that this is what he was going to talk about, I've had the Veggie Tale song stuck in my head. There are not many clear versions of this on youtube, so sorry for the Spanish(?) title...Enjoy, and know that God has a second chance for you!

 

Single Not Separate

So, it's Valentines Day, and you are again facing it without a 'valentine'. My husband chose to talk on this subject the day before Valentines because so many get discouraged or depressed because they don't have a 'significant other' to share it with. Our culture has made us feel like we 'need' someone, and that we are defined by whether or not we are in a relationship, but this is certainly not the case!
I Corinthians 7:23 says 'God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.' Look at just how much you mean to Him! He loved you so much that He gave his only begotten son for you (John 3:16)! So whether you are single or in a relationship, remember that God paid a high price for you!
If you are single, here are some things to think about:

Singleness doesn't separate us from our culture  (I Corinthians 7:7 Singleness is a gift! )

Even though today's culture tries to define us by our relationship status, singleness doesn't mean that we are outcasts in society! An even deeper truth is that God can use us (perhaps even more) when we are single that when we are married (I Corinthians 7:32-35).
It's no accident that you are single, for God has given you this time of singleness for a greater purpose than you or I could ever imagine (Esther 4:14)! Instead of being down and depressed, celebrate that God has given you a time in your life that you are not 'tied down' and able to go and do things for God more freely. As my husband put so eloquently: 'We need to be looking for and expecting God's plan for our life'. Of course, that applies to those of us who are married too!
God blessed me during my time of singleness in allowing me to go and serve in Thailand. When I went, I told myself that I wanted to use my single years wisely. Once I got over there though, I was scared that by being there, I was closing myself off to relationships. I was even told by a preacher that I should get used to the fact that I would probably stay single for the rest of my life. This brings me to the next part of the post:

Singleness doesn't separate us from receiving any blessings

I had made relationships an idol. In a previous post we talked about how that we have to put Jesus first before anyone we have a relationship with, and you know, this can include someone we're dreaming of having a relationship with! Both my husband and I had made having a relationship with someone a priority and when we decided to give that up to God and surrender that up to him,God put us together! This doesn't mean that if you surrender that up to God, immediately He will give you a boyfriend/girlfriend, but what I am saying is that life isn't all about relationships with a boyfriend/girlfriend and it won't solve all of your problems.
So many times we tell ourselves 'If I could just be in a relationship, my loneliness, sexual temptations, etc will get solved', but that just isn't the case. (I Corinthians 7:28)
Our focus needs to be on Christ; being in a relationship with someone shouldn't be our ultimate goal in life, but being in a closer relationship with Christ, and sharing Him with others should be.

Singleness doesn't separate us from ever having a relationship

If you are single now, it doesn't mean you will always be. Even though Paul was called to a life of singleness (and there are others who are called as well), doesn't mean that it will be that way for everyone! Marriage was God's idea in the first place. Neither having a relationship, or not having one are sins, but both of these things can be if we allow our focus to be on something or someone else besides Christ.

Matthew 6:33
Sorry this post is so long, but I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it!

Day of Love

Valentines Day is fast approaching, and even though I said I wasn't really going to post about marriage until after our one year anniversary, I thought I would just give a challenge to all my married friends to try to do something thoughtful on this 'day of love'. It's always nice to do romantic, thoughtful things on other days, but most especially this Thursday.Let your husband/wife know just how much you love and care for them. And you know what, have fun with it! You will probably enjoy putting your romantic gesture together as much as they will enjoy receiving it!

Jesus Comes First

Ross King, in his song "Clear the Stage" sings:

"Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol"

It's a very powerful message that makes us have to stop and think about what we've been spending all our time doing, wanting, thinking about etc. And, of course, this includes relationships we have with people.

My husband broke up his lesson into three parts, and I'll do the same here, but like I told someone last night, even though the points sound the same, it's my own take on the lesson.

Building our relationship with Jesus

As you can see, this lesson was about putting Jesus first in, well, everything. So before we start a relationship with someone else, we need to make sure our relationship with Jesus is where it should be (or going in the right direction. First off, I need to ask the question: Have you accepted Jesus as your Savior? This is the foundation, the beginning of a relationship with Him. You see, we are not perfect and therefore have no way of redeeming ourselves or no way to get to heaven on our own. Jesus is perfect, and volunteered to die in our stead so that we could have a personal relationship with Him and one day live with Him in Heaven!
If you are a believer, then where is your relationship? Are you putting aside some time to spend with Him? or are you too busy? I struggle with making sure I spend one on one time with him. My husband and I study the Bible together (which is great! I love having that time where we read scripture together and get to talk about things we are both reading about!) but I also need to spend some individual time as well.

Once you are in a relationship with someone else, you must realize that:

Your dating relationship is part of your witness!

As my husband said last night, if you are not putting God first (and putting that other person first instead) others can tell. How? By how much you are willing to compromise the guidelines you made to be with that person. Your relationships are a light to others around you. It is a witness and shows your relationship with God!
My husband and I talked only about two weeks after we started dating (before we 'fell in love') about how that we were going to put God first, and that each other would be second...not first! I am so glad we talked about this, because it helped keep each other accountable.
Remember, what ever you do, do all for the glory of God (see I Corinthians 10:31), which includes dating. This can mean that:

Sometimes dating someone will not bring God glory

You know those dry spells, when it seems no one is interested (and you are not interested)? Instead of getting down or depressed, see it as a time where maybe God is saying let's work on our relationship! If you dated during that time it might not bring glory to God.
When I was nineteen I moved to Thailand (you can see some of my stories at missionseahelper.blogspot.com)  and spent three  years there. My purpose for going was to spend my single years wisely (I'll talk more about singleness next week), and it gave me an opportunity to serve God and bring glory to Him there, and there God made a way for me to meet my husband and give glory to God by dating, and eventually marrying, him!

So remember: "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:33 NLT

Dating and Relationships...

My husband has just started a new series on dating and relationships, a subject very near and dear to my heart, since I chose to do a crazy method of dating called, courtship. I normally am interested in the hubby's lessons since he does such a great job with them, and always likes me to hang around so we can have 'talks' on the subject. This time, however, I was able to contribute a lot more than a thought or two, since we had some pretty lengthy discussions prior to his normal Tuesday night lesson preparation.
Both he and I are excited to begin this study (which really has already begun, since we started Wednesday) because we finally feel like we are in a position to talk about it. I would like to one day talk about marriage tips on here, but our pastor told me that we lose 'newlywed' status once we come to the one year mark. Maybe then I'll give some tips on how to have a great first year in marriage.
Well, enough about marriage, and onto what we are talking about in youth. This past week we started on Biblical guidelines, and having a purpose for dating. To be honest there are only a few core guidelines written in the Bible, but in them we can have a foundation for some personal guidelines.

The first guideline is no sexual sin...I Thessalonians 4:3

Basically, waiting until marriage to have sex (Genesis 2:24). This is where we can form some guidelines to help us stay away from this and keep it from becoming a temptation for us. When I was eleven, I decided that I would wait and kiss for the first time on my wedding day. It wasn't because I wanted to keep my self from temptation or anything, but because Mom had read a story about a girl who had waited and I thought that was super romantic! When I told my cousins, they just laughed and told me to wait until I was 16, things would be much different. This, of course, made me more determined, and once I got older and actually interested in boys, that determination helped me make some other decision that changed the way I viewed dating, or really my mom helped make the decisions, seeing that at 13 I was ready to enter the dating world and she stopped me in my tracks and gave me a Joshua Harris book to read (thanks Mom!).
Courtship is just an old fashioned word that really means Godly dating, and Joshua Harris talks a lot about this in his books (which I highly recommend). Courtship gives you some extra guidelines that help keep you from making decisions that lead up to sex. These can range anywhere to holding hands to kissing to, well, more stuff. Just because I made the decision to not kiss before marriage, doesn't mean others need to (Everyone is tempted by different things, and exhibit a lot more self control than others), but it is good to have these guidelines, before you enter the dating/courtship arena.

The second guideline is for believers to date believers...II Corinthians 6:14

This is extremely important! My husband's and my first conversations were on our salvation stories. Why? This was the most important event in our lives and needed to be equally important to the other. Common beliefs are important as well, since it is important that you worship together.

These are the two main guidelines that are found in the Bible. My husband went on in the lesson to explain that our purpose for dating should not be purely recreational, but should be with the end goal of marriage. On and off dating is just really good practice for divorce (this, of course, is my opinion, and doesn't mean that a person who has dated a lot can't have a lasting marriage, it just means they may have to work a little harder at it.). Another reason I like courtship, is that you start the relationship thinking about marriage, therefore, you are constantly asking your boyfriend/girlfriend questions about finance, child rearing, etc. to see if you agree.

So, that is it for this week. I hope you have enjoyed this post (the first one on the blog, actually!) and that it might help you who are single in making future decisions.