Having a Successful Long Distant Relationship

Being thousands of miles away from each other when my husband and I were dating, was tough. Walking to school, watching couple hold hands, hearing about other people's dates, and just seeing couples in general, was very hard to do. Thai internet was unreliable at times, and even when it was working, our videos were blurry. However, we survived. Not only that, I would call us a success! What did we do to keep going while in our long distant relationship?

We put God first

Yes, I know, I've said this before, but it is that crucial! Not only for long distant relationships, but for any! If you put God first, you will not be so hung up with your relationship to each other, but with your relationship with God. If Skype isn't working, it won't be the end of the world, because you will know that although your earthly relationships are precious, they are not the MOST precious. 

We Scheduled Dates

I think this is so crucial for long distant relationships, especially the very distant ones. Your life is quite different from your boyfriend/girlfriend's, so it makes it hard to know when you both are free. Especially when you have to use programs like Skype, you have to make a special time to talk and have your 'date'. For my husband and I, it was a specific time, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. We didn't plan things for those times, and our friends knew it was 'our' time. We took it seriously, and didn't let the busyness of our lives get in the way of that. That has bled into our marriage, and we have Friday night set aside for 'our' time. It's key in long distant relationships, and it's key in marriage. 

We Found Questions to Ask Each Other

When you are unable to observe each other while doing life, you have to ask questions. You also have to be honest with each other. We used Joshua Harris's questions in the back of his book 'Boy Meets Girl' to use as a way to make sure we asked each other essential questions before marriage. Raising our little boy is a lot less stressful when we already asked important parenthood questions, such as: discipline, Bible study, church going, etc. Money is another big argument starter that my husband and I don't struggle with as much since we knew we were on the same page ahead of time. 

Change Things Up

For Valentines Day, my husband (then boyfriend) dressed up in a suit and tie, lit candles and set the table like we were eating dinner together. It was incredibly romantic and also changed things up from our normal 'dates'. There are a lot of resources these days for things you can do to do things differently. For example: play online games (or real ones that you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend what moves to make), do a Bible study, watch the same movie, etc. 

If I could tell you one of the most important factors in successful long distant relationships, it's this: determination. If you are not putting effort and determination into your relationship, then the tough times are going to be too tough. If you are willing to do it, however, the reward is amazing. After four years of marriage to the most amazing man in the world, I can tell you from experience!