How I Can Afford to be a Stay-at-Home Mom

Note: This post is to help those who want to stay at home with their baby, feel comfortable with their decision, and even perhaps help with some money saving/making tips. If you are a working mom, and have no desire to stay at home, or you are a single mom, or whatever the case may be, this is in no way putting you down. All moms who love their kids and provide for them are super moms, in my opinion. However, if you are working, and you would just love to stay at home with your little one, but don't know how to afford it, maybe this post is for you!

I knew I wanted to stay at home with my baby before I even had him. I actually was a stay-at-home wife all the years that I have been married. You could say that my husband and I are already used to one income, so that made an easier transition, however, I think baby costs are always a little bit of a shock. For one thing, I had planned a birth center birth, and had paid in full every cost, but I had to be transported by ambulance (cha-ching) from the birth center and taken to the hospital (more cha-ching) where I still birthed naturally, a healthy little boy and we stayed for two nights (can I say it? more cha-ching!). This made a lot of unforeseen expenses that I'm hoping helps me write this in such a way, as to help you make a decision on whether you can afford to stay at home with your little one.

If you are anything like me, as soon as you see that little bundle of cuteness, and fall so deeply in love with your squishy, squirmy, poopy, screaming, baby and you don't want to miss a moment of their lives. It may make you step back and (if you were thinking of going back to work) wonder, 'is there any way I can stay at home with my baby?'
Yes! I think that you can! Here are some things to think about:

1) Daycare

Not only are there questions on who you can trust with your little one, but it's also a very expensive decision. Because I've never looked in to daycare, I had to do a little research to find some numbers on how much it costs. If these numbers are wrong, please comment, and give me better numbers, so I can make this post more accurate. According to the *Boston Globe, the average charge per month for my state, is $700. This means that if you make $2,500 a month, you have only $1,800 left to spend on other things. 

2) Meals and other expenses

My family still eats out a couple of times per week. Now, that could be eliminated if we needed to cut back on expenses. If you eat out at work, and get take out a few times a week, this can be a couple of hundred dollars a month! If you are at home, you can fix meals for your family, and pack lunch for your husband. Pinterest is full of cheap meal ideas, and quick ones too! Other work related expenses include the gas it takes for your commute, business attire, and gifts for coworkers. These little things really do add up. My husband is a teacher, and we see a definite increase in funds when he is at home. Even if we only put this at $100 a month, you are now up to $1,000 spent in daycare, gas, meals, and clothes.

3) Cutting Back

I think that staying at home, might include some sacrifice on your families part. It may mean a smaller house, only one car, making smarter food choices, etc. It may mean cheaper diapers, second hand clothes, and a not quite so elaborate first birthday. For me, it's not a sacrifice, when I think that I get to be home and catch all the 'firsts' with my son. There are hard days as a stay at home mom, because you are a housekeeper, cook, and daycare worker all in one, but to me they are all worth it!

What about ways to make money?

1) What can you do?

I am a church pianist, and I love working with kids, so it was a no brainer to teach piano. Others can crochet, quilt, play guitar, etc. As a piano teacher I make about $400 a month. I could make more and add students, but having a baby does make days quite busy. Add that to the $1,000 I'm saving, and I am getting close to what I would actually be making (especially since I do not have a degree, and possibly wouldn't be making quite the $2,500). Perhaps you can find your niche that allows you to make some money and stay at home with your little girl or guy. Because my husband and I aren't in debt, we take the money that I make, and make that our savings. That way every cent (except for our tithe, of course) that he makes, goes into providing for the family. 

2) What if I can't really 'do' anything?

Some people get into selling make up, watch others' babies, etc. My mom has cleaned churches and offices to make enough to stay at home. The website http://moneysavingmom.com/  has great information on ways you can make and save money while staying at home...maybe you could even start a blog!

Last, but definitely not least, if you feel that God has called you to stay at home, HE will provide! Don't worry or fret. Plan? Yes! Set a budget? Yes! But let God show you just how He can provide for your needs, and you will be amazed!
I hope this has helped you. Do you have ways of saving, or making money as a stay-at-home mom? I would love to hear about it!

Starting a New Series

It's summer time, and my little baby isn't quite so little any more. Since he is starting to allow me some time to myself (and my husband is a teacher, which makes it where I have someone to watch the baby for a few minutes) I thought I would try to blog over the summer about once a week. Emphasis on try! I know that to have a successful blog, you need to be consistent, but babies can take up a lot of time! Especially one who is now fairly mobile, and goes straight for the computer any time I open it. 

This month, I would like to deviate from my usual spiritual gleanings, and do a bit of mommy tips. It will be a series on things I've learned about as a first time mom: What you really need for a baby, how to keep your house cleaned with a baby (haha, not quite sure if I'm qualified for this one, but I'm going to take a stab at it),  How to lose the baby weight, How I stay at home, and maybe one on random tips. Remember that I'm a first time mom and learning as I go, but I would like to help others who may be struggling with something I struggled with, so perhaps you won't have as difficult of a time. If you have your own tips or questions, feel free to comment!

Leaving a Legacy

In our Sunday Night class, we are studying about the Kingdom Woman (by Chrystal Evans Hurst), and this evening, the lesson is again on the Legacy of a Kingdom Woman. In the video and lesson, Chrystal's mom shares stories of her mother and grandmother and the legacy they left to her to be able to be content with little, and to not let emotions be governed by the situation.

Let me tell you about a legacy that I have watched this week. This week, my husband's great-uncle passed away unexpectedly. It was very tragic, and I knew that this family, who had already been through such loss just not long ago, would be devastated.  Going over to Mamaw's house (that's southern for Grandmother) I saw sadness, yes, but I also saw great strength. She had lost her brother, but she would see him again.

Whenever Mamaw answered a phone call, she told how very blessed she was. When she answered people's questions, she did so with politeness and courage. Another close family member at some point said 'I just can't do this' and her reply was this:

'You are just going to have to! You are just going to have to pick up and go. You have no choice, I have no choice. I am still going, even after I lost the other ones (she has also lost a husband, and son). I have no regrets. I know where he is.'

She told a cousin, that God would get her through. You see, Mamaw knew Somebody, and that Somebody had never forsaken her and He wasn't about to now. I heard the words of Job in Mamaw's attitude and words:

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:21


Oh that I could be as strong as she! Her strength is not her own, and she will tell you that. Her strength is found in Jesus Christ, her Savior. She knows she will see her brother again, and she hangs on to that promise.


Do you know the Sombody? The God of Creation? Do you know Jesus Christ as your Savior?


What kind of Legacy are you leaving for others? I pray I leave half the legacy Mamaw gave me!

Before I was a Mom

My son is going through teething, and a good nights sleep is becoming a distant memory. Sometimes I think about how it was before I was a mom...

Before I was a mom, my house was really clean. I didn't think it was, but it was!

Before I was a mom, a shower was a necessity, not a privilege.

Before I was a mom, laundry was never on the couch. I had made myself a rule that I would always have the front of the house free of laundry, now it's the best way for me to get it done.

Before I was a mom, what worried me at night was what I might do the next day, or perhaps what someone thought about me. Now I worry if my son is breathing, in pain, hot, cold, and ask myself if I am a bad mom because I do this, or that. 

Before I was a mom, I got 8 hours of sleep...8 hours!! Last night I had probably less than 4 broken hours.

Before I was a mom, I loved to do different things to my semi-long hair. Now I feel pretty dressed up in a ponytail. 

Before I was a mom, my husband and I went on a date night weekly. Now, we still do that, but with a 5 month old that may, or may not allow the said date night to be longer than 5 minutes.

This sounds depressing, I know. But let me tell you some more things about before I was a mom.

Before I was a mom, I never knew how happy I would be to see my son smile, laugh, sit up, etc. 

Before I was a mom, I never had someone raise their hands to me, because they wanted me, and only me. 

Before I was a mom, I never voluntarily stayed awake just to look at the sweet thing laying beside my bed.

Before I was a mom, I never knew how much I needed to trust God. To simply put things into His hands, because I have no control over the situation.

Before I was a mom, I never knew this strange new kind of love I have for my son. I look into his face, and I would do absolutely anything for him. It also made me realize just how much love God must have for us!

Before I was a mom, I never knew how much I would love being a mom! 

I am so thankful the Lord let me be a mom. Some days I wish I could just get one more hour of sleep, or that I had a half hour just to clean the bathroom, but I wouldn't trade these past 6 months for all the sleep, or the cleanest house in the world!

The Fellowship of the Believers (Lord of the Rings pun intended)

A while back (very long ago, seeing I haven't posted in almost 9 months!) I wrote an article about going to church. If you would like to read that post, you may do so here: http://ayouthpastorswife.blogspot.com/2013/09/back-to-basics-going-to-church.html. And here I am to post again on the same subject. It has been weighing heavy on my heart because here lately our church has seen pretty decent numbers on Sunday mornings, then less than 20 on Sunday night, and even our faithful members seem to find excuses to not come to Sunday School and Sunday Morning Worship. 

As usual, my husband and I (and now our cute little boy) were watching a pastor on one of our local channels that comes on, early Sunday morning. He was talking about the first church and used these verses:

Acts 2:41 Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all.

42 All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.

⁴³ A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. ⁴⁴ And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. ⁴⁵ They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. ⁴⁶ They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity— ⁴⁷ all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

This was a wonderful time for the early church. People were getting saved daily, and worshiping daily. Worshiping daily?! We can hardly stand to get together at the most 3 times a week! They met together, fellowshiped together, and had corporate worship in the Temple each day. They didn't mind worshiping in public even if that meant persecution.


I guess my question is, What reason did you not go to church today? I know there are reasons to stay home. Maybe you are a shut in, or sick (ain't nobody got time for a stomach bug!), etc. However, I think we are too easily tempted to make excuses for why we can't come to church. My favorite one right now is the 'I didn't get to bed until 'such and such' time in the morning, therefore, I needed my sleep.' As a new mom that is happy to get a solid 4-5 hours, this annoys me so much. Rant aside, I know it's easy to let other things become a priority: sleep, family coming over, work, school, but how shallow do those things sound when the early church was meeting together daily with the threat of persecution over their heads?


I don't say this to make myself look great. I am also tempted to put other things before church, Bible, prayer, but the sermon this morning, and scripture, remind me that I should count it a blessing to have fellowship with my fellow believers.

How to Have a Passion for Purity

About to enter the dating scene? Already dating but don't want to go too far?  Sometimes it's so hard to know how far is too far, and what rules you should live by. A conference told you one thing, your boyfriend/girlfriend is telling you another. What's a girl (or boy!) supposed to do?

Last night during our Bible study we came across this verse from Psalm 119:9

How can a young person stay pure?

    By obeying your word.

That's it. Those are the rules. Do you want to know how to keep your relationship from going 'too far' then get into God's Word and see what He says. Not only that, but you have to do what He says!

I loved the Joshua Harris books: I kissed Dating Goodbye, and Boy Meets Girl and highly recommend them to those wanting to go a different route than most. However, when it came time for my own love story things didn't go quite according to how I pictured they would. For starters, I was in Thailand, and my then boyfriend was in the States. We didn't physically date until 9 months after we met through a mutual friend on Facebook. This meant that all those 'rules' that the books and conferences suggested had no meaning for my particular situation. What did we do?

I think it helped that both he and I had a desire for purity. If your boyfriend or fiance doesn't have the same desire for purity that you have, then you don't need to be in the relationship. More than likely, he will cause you to do things that you don't want to do, and to go farther than you want to go. So, having a significant other that has a relationship with God (and not just one that says he's a Christian but doesn't live like one) is vital for a pure relationship. 

Second, we told each other that we would put God first in the relationship instead of each other. We then got on the same page as far as once we did meet, what we would do physically. Now, here comes the tricky part, because you have to decide what you will do to keep your relationship pure. For us, we stayed where people were, held hands, but never kissed. Actually, my husband never told me he loved me until he asked me to marry him, and we never kissed until our wedding day. This is what we did, and once we set up those guidelines for ourselves it lifted the burden of knowing whether or not we were going too far. It allowed trust to be built between each other. Since we often skyped while we were alone, knowing each others heart and intentions made it where we never ventured into the 'unknown' (you know, the after marriage stuff) or 'too far' category.

I said all that to say, you have to read the Bible, you have to set the guidelines with yourself and with your significant other. You both need to be in the Word. Because it doesn't matter how many conferences you go to, or books you read, your heart needs to be in the right place. 

Wisdom From my Mom

Mother's Day is this Sunday, and I thought I would share some wisdom my mom has taught me over the years that I hope to use with my own little boy. Also as a youth pastor's wife who deals with teenagers/kids a lot I see just how important some of her wisdom is when it comes to parenting!
Note: I am in no way trying to tell you I have parenting figured out (because, I really don't have a clue!), nor am I saying I was raised perfectly. These are some things that I feel that my mom got right, and I believe she has done her very best.

Mom First, Friend Second

I am guessing this must be a hard thing to do, but I am so thankful that my mom used this motto with us. So many parents today want to be buddies with their kids instead of dealing with their behavior and being their mom. Because my mom didn't put up with some 'rebellious' actions of mine as a 13 year old, she and I have a great relationship today. She disciplined me then, so we could be friends as adults. I pray I do the same with my little one. I don't want to 'talk down' to him, but I also don't want to allow him to do wrong things because I just don't want to hurt his feelings.

Never Talk Bad About Your Kids in Front of Them

My mom would shake her head every time she heard a mother say things like 'He/She's impossible.' 'I can't wait until school starts again.', 'They just drive me insane!', etc. Mom always said that of course kids are going to act badly if that's all that's expected of them! Not saying you won't have challenging kids (I know I was a bit of one!), but my mom felt that tearing your kids down wasn't the answer, love and discipline was.

Teach Your Kids That Learning About God is a Pleasure, Not a Chore!

To be honest, this is not something I ever remember mom saying out loud, but she instilled in us a love for learning about God. To this day I enjoy discussing scripture and doctrine with people because my mom made Bible study not only a habit, but a joy. We would gather as a family about 3 times a day to either read Proverbs, a chapter we were doing for our Bible curriculum, and then in the evening before we went to bed. We didn't just listen to her read, but we got to take turns, listen to it being read by actors on CD, or sometimes just discuss what we read.

Lead by Example

Sometimes parents come to my husband and I and wonder why their kids are doing things that aren't right, when they themselves aren't living the life they should. You see, I knew that before (or maybe a little after) I got up in the morning my mom had Bible study and prayer. I knew this because we would sometimes catch her in the act. She didn't just expect us to spend time in the Word, she did herself! She was always willing to volunteer at the church, made sure that when we cleaned the church we did it out of love for the Lord not just for people's praise, or for money we made. You could tell she lived this out, because she would always think of extra things she could do to make it cleaner, more organized, etc. She also took on the church's youth even though she isn't being paid a dime.  I clearly saw by example, and I have to say that makes me a bit intimidated thinking that I am going to be under my own child's watchful eyes just as I watched my mom to see if she would 'walk the walk'.

Thank you mom, for being my mom first, and now my friend, for never talking bad about me in front of others, and never making me feel like you didn't want me around. Thank you for helping me develop a love for God, and showing me, not just telling me, when it came to doing things for God. I love you, Mom!

Feel free to comment nuggets of wisdom your own mother shared, or showed you!